The pain of separation dissolves when one is aware of the larger purpose and inspiration to loving; that is to love with kindness and gratitude.
Gratitude is the awareness that nothing is owed and owed to- that each individual experience of kindness is to be honoured and respected for its full worth regardless of the relationship shared between the giver and the recipient.
Pain in separation
When pain exist, this means we are holding to the illusion of separateness. When we become aware of this, love returns and we feel at peace even if we part forever. Gratitude to life for that moment of spiritual knowing and connection with another person can leave enough residue of love to live on nothing else forever. I had myself felt so at peace with separation because he left enough love and kindness for the rest of my life to live from. I constantly think of how beautiful it was. We glowed from it’s perfection. Everyone around us could see it, literally.
On equilibrium and unity
When we become hurtful to others we become disconnected with our essence. What I try to live with is minute to minute awareness of how I am reacting. Sometimes anger and upset can disconnect me. Then I take time away from the situation. Reading always helps – it empowers me. I feel confident. I feel responsibile. Being responsible for anger and upset as well as words exchanged out of it is important in correction and reconciliation. You disempower yourself when you intentionally lose responsibility over a situation. I am also starting to learn that in the reconciliation the aim is unity or equilibrium and not to win. I think I had a great relationships with Some people for this reason – living with awareness.
Love with the fullest heart. many people make themselves believe they are not capable of doing certain things for others because it’s not them. But when the heart is truly open and when everything moves from the essence, all Identity dissolves – we stop saying this is not me. Because there is no me. There is no you. Our identities suffer from inertia in this world. In the world of complete giving, fear escapes – love is given irrespective of anything. I had this with my previous relationship. I say without exaggeration there were many days I felt esctatically happy at just the thought of him. I lived with a constant feeling of gratitude. It was most beautiful.
Ishk Allah mabud lillah – we Sufis repeat this in dzikir – god is love, the lover and the beloved. Sing it 100 times aloud or silently. Dance.