Last night’s and this morning’s event was just aaaaaaaaaaamazzzing. There was so much of stress and excitement but I was terrified because I would always feel exhausted during my rehearsals and the special poquito bought me a whole pack of 6 lucozades and a redbull.
My feet has this really funny strain down my bones when Im dancing barefoot and feeling cold and just before my dress rehearsal, it happened and I was just devastated because I was already arranging for Plan B – if my foot cramps in the middle of the performance (of which it has done before), how do I exit gracefully? Will I let my team members down? Will I fail to dance for the gentle one?
Kate told me once when part of your body hurts, when your health is not reacting well to certain things that you do, it is time to slow down. I will not say my dancing days are over. I will dance, but in my room, in my room…..
I really don’t like the stress of not knowing when your health might suddenly deter you right before you go on stage or during the performance itself. I am already worrying about will I slip, will I step on my skirt, will the jewelry fly out of place…..So I am so happy the week is finally over. I made some really good friendships with Asian Society though – Astha, Nimisha, Sita, Manisha, Shweta, Dishal, Jonnnyyyyyy, and Nabz (the writer!) and I am thankful for the little shred of social and dance life, of discipline and team work. Our Art was beautiful.
Papito came to see me today. And I am happy happy happy. Sometimes just the thought of companionship, or of the loving tear, or of graciousness and sacrifice is really beautiful. He was the prime of the day; not the dance, nor the excitement, nor the after party, nor the crowd, nor the congratulations well done. It was Papito! And perhaps the little shock of loneliness I felt for a slight moment when he decided to transfer items into his car and I walked to Tempo alone, waiting around for the performance to begin. I hardly feel that. But today I felt it, strangely so. Maybe inside I feel terrified about a coming departure. So many years, one GREAT Friendship. Ah, 5 more months until I start a new life! New friends! New future! New experiences.
I am scared. I feel scared sometimes. Life is like a dance…..when the foot cramp comes is really unpredictable. But Im looking forward to it. It will be interesting.
I received a lot of love from family and from the world this week. I am thankful. Very thankful. And for the beautiful one out there, I hope you are resting with tea leaves on your eyes to calm you from work’s stress and with a pillow under your neck for warmth of love from the shining star all your life.
4am – Natasha is out. Ah, they call me Shakira now. Shakira is out.